I am a few months short of celebrating my 40th Birthday. I wear my age proudly and have no regrets growing older! It all comes from my mom who made every birthday so special from the minute we woke up. She would play the Happy Birthday Collection record on our turntable to wake us up. It was the one day we had immunity from every reprimand and got treated to our heart’s content. Money, even though was tight, didn’t interfere with our enjoyment and celebration. I got married at 21 and ensured my husband knew how important and special my birthday was to me. Until my mid-thirties I expected him to celebrate it for me. Then it struck me that if I had expectations then life would always fall short. After that realization, I started planning my own birthday so that I could celebrate it in the way I wanted and spare my husband the pressure of living up to my expectations. It’s not just my birthday or celebrations but as I grow older I feel so much more in control of my expectations and disappointments. I choose to own my feelings and not depend on others for my state of happiness. This liberates me from so much negativity on a daily basis.
When we talk about feminism or independent women, it’s not just the financial independence or gender-blind choices we make it’s the fact that we choose for ourselves based on our needs. Not what is perpetuated by society or patriarchy!